Just some thoughts runnin' through my head tonight,
and all at 4am no less!
. It's that ol' pregnancy insomnia come around to help me sort out my thoughts I sappose.
There really is a narrow road, and it is hard to follow at times.
I've noticed that the more I grow Jesus, the narrower my path becomes.
I not only see old destructive habits and self-defeating behaviors falling by the wayside, I also see people falling away from me too.
At times I thought, "this is just too tough God",
"I can't do it, You're asking too much".
Seemed that the more He pruned me of the bad stuff, the emptier I got, nearly stripped to nothing, was I filled with that much negetivity?
People went away too, the closer I got to Him.
Not only was I filling my mind and time with destructive thoughts and behaviors, I was also surrounding myself with destructive people!
When I began to weed out the negetive people, I wasn't left with many!
I guess misery loves company, and when you're out there doing your own will and not God's, well, there's just all kinda folks to hang out with!
But when you start to make changes in your life, and you draw nearer to Him, you begin to see your "friends" for what they really are, to me most were just catylysts on my fast road to Hell.
They weren't true friends to me, but guess what? I wasn't a true friend to them either, and for that I am sorry.
But I am no longer sorry that I've spent the past few years being pulled apart, hung upside-down, shaken about, plucked, pruned, and more often than not "alone", so I could grow.
Now God has room to fill me with what He wants!
I'm more selective about who I spend time with, and what I spend time on these days.
I've learned how to be alone with myself, and like it.
And I know that God doesn't desire me to have an empty, boring, friendless life, He just wants me to choose wisely, which I could've never done before Him...
I wonder who He's gonna set upon my path next?
Be Blessed All,
PJ
